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Sexual Health ArticlesThe Impact Of Heart Surgery On Sex
“The Impact of Heart Surgery on Sex” When you become aroused, your breathing rate slowly starts to increase. Your skin becomes flushed. Your blood pressure and heart rate also begin to rise. The more excited you become, the more the tension builds, the higher your blood pressure and heart rate get. During orgasm you release all of that built up tension. The heart rate increases to about 95-140 beats per minute depending on the individual, and blood pressure rises from 30-50 millimeters of mercury. This intensity passes and after orgasm, your blood pressure and heart rate return to lower levels, making you tired and ready for rest. What effect does sex, the entire process beyond just physical intercourse, have on patients recovering from heart surgery? Should people who have had heart surgery be concerned about the impact sex could have on their health? Sex Is Healthy Sex is a very healthy activity. It can be a form of exercise. Putting your body into motion and increasing your blood pressure and your heart rate is just a part of a normal, healthy, everyday life. Sex can continue to be enjoyed by those who are recovering from heart surgery. To believe otherwise would be depriving you and your partner of something wonderful and beneficial. For the most part, unless told otherwise, a heart surgery patient can resume sexual activity as soon as he or she feels ready. Some do make it a point to ask their doctor just to be on the safe side. That is not to say that everyone will immediately desire sex upon recovery. Sexual desire will be determined by a person’s age, the length of the relationship, new medications and the sexual drive of an individual—which might or might not be slightly different than before the surgery. For most people, sex resumes a few weeks after the surgery. Heart attack patients can sometimes take longer to recover. Some patients, while physically healthy, suffer from anxiety, depression or just a waning sexual desire due to the recent trauma. Usually such feelings of anxiety last about 3 months. Therefore, if negative feelings are still arising after that time period it may be a good idea to seek some form of counseling (whether medical help, relationship and marriage counseling or sexual therapy or surrogacy) which can help a person to resume sexual activity and restore their confidence. Sexual problems will only get worse the more time passes, so it’s important to seek solutions as soon as is necessary. Important Reminders For Recovering Lovers Have a good routine of exercise, nutritious diet and regular prescribed medication, along with doctor check ups. The healthier your life style, the more you’re used to a rapid heart rate and rising blood pressure, the less chance that you will experience any problems during sex. Don’t Stress The Little Things Resuming sex with your partner is a delightful activity and can improve your self-esteem, your positive feelings, and thus your health. It is important to talk about problems as well as your needs and wants. Good communication helps and sometimes sexual counseling can help, if there are larger issues to deal with. Some people prefer to visit a doctor, counselor, or surrogate. Sexual counseling can help you resume normal sexual activity, have a happier marriage, and live a healthier lifestyle. “The Impact of High Blood Pressure on Sex” High blood pressure can affect many of your daily activities and even endanger your life. Sure you knew that. But did you also know it can also affect your sex life? Now you’re listening. While some people aren’t even aware of how to control high blood pressure and the severity of the condition, others react the extreme opposite. By believing because they have high blood pressure they should not engage in sexual activity very often for fear of endangering their health. Yes, it is challenging to maintain a good sex life living with high blood pressure. One reason is because certain medications that lower blood pressure also bring sexual side effects. Some people try and avoid medication because of the sexual side effects but this is not a wise move. Sexual problems also come about, not only because of medication, but also because of the disorder itself. High blood pressure changes circulatory patterns in the body and can damage the inner lining of arteries, which may decrease blood flow to the penis and vagina. Sexual problems brought about by medication or by the disorder include erectile dysfunction, ejaculation problems, painful intercourse, difficulty in reaching orgasm and a general loss of sexual desire. Sexual Solutions To High Blood Pressure There are a few options to consider when battling high blood pressure and once again reclaiming an active sex life. The first is simple enough. People who suffer from high blood pressure, to better their sex life and to save their entire life, must get into better shape. A basic adage remains true: Sex will never be enjoyed to its absolute fullest until you maintain a good healthy diet and engage in regular exercise. The same fact can be stated to people suffering from high blood pressure. Having high blood pressure doesn’t mean your sex life is over. It just means that the better you take care of yourself, the better your life—and lovemaking—will be. A recent scientific study revealed that one third of obese men with erectile dysfunction were able to regain sexual function after two years by losing weight and exercising. Other studies have shown that regular exercise fights depression, which has a powerful effect on regular sexual function. Regular exercise can also bring about a more toned body and higher self esteem. The better a person feels, the more attractive he or she feels, the better their sex life will be. Avoid Stress Not Sex There is no truth to the myth that says people who suffer from any heart disease or high blood pressure disorder have to avoid all excitement. While avoiding stress is certainly beneficial, sexual activity is the opposite of stress. It is a form of exercise that brings about positive feelings. There is a balance to be maintained. If you are enjoying sexual activity and you began to notice some symptoms, then simply reduce your activity until you feel better. Like all forms of exercise, sex is something that enriches you but that should also be measured according to how you feel. The answer is not avoiding sex altogether, which would be depriving you and your mate of something pleasurable and fulfilling. Another option to consider would be help from a pharmacist. Some high blood pressure patients take a list of their medications (over the counter, prescribed and herbal) to a pharmacist and get a professional opinion to see whether any combination may be causing sexual problems. Finally, seeking professional help whether through a psychologist, therapist or sex surrogate is an option worth thinking about, especially if you are having specific sexual problems. A professional can work with you to establish what you need and want, along with what would be the most effective way to achieve those goals. High blood pressure is a serious condition. But that does not mean that it can’t be dealt with and that your sex life will permanently suffer because of it. Educating yourself and your partner is the best way to handle any problem. “The Impact of Anti-Depressants on Sex” There are some scientists who debate whether or not antidepressants truly affect patients’ sexuality on a biological level. But people who actually take antidepressants often claim the drugs do make a difference in their libido and performance. Possible Sexual Side Effects Some side effects of antidepressant drugs in women might include delayed or blocked orgasm (anorgasmia) and a decreased sex drive. Men might suffer from erectile dysfunction or problems in ejaculating. The delaying of an orgasm is not a positive side effect though some individuals and even drug manufacturers confuse it as such. The side effect would hinder the person’s ability to enjoy sex, much less orgasm normally. A lowered libido is hardly the price a man wants to pay in the treatment of premature ejaculation. Prozac, a common type of antidepressant has been reported to cause side effects including not only a decrease in sexual desire but anorgasmia, which is the inability to experience orgasm even with direct stimulation. Other well known drugs include Wellbutrin, Serzone, and Desyrel, Zoloft, Lexapro, Elavi, Tofranil and Nardil and each has listed possible sexual side effects. Often times, patients don’t volunteer such personal information as lowered sexual desire to their doctors, which just adds to the couple’s frustration. Medication Is Not A Sexual Death Sentence This is not to say that antidepressants are always the cause of sexual problems. For example, in cases where a partner’s libido is decreased when with a spouse but can still become excited with another person, this indicates the response is psychological. Also, if a person can reach orgasm through masturbation or oral sex but not through regular intercourse, this would also rule out medication as the root cause. Some antidepressant users have claimed that limiting their dosage or taking pills every other day can improve their sexual desire. While this is unverified and not recommended without a doctor’s consent, it does prove that there is no certain rule that says if you take antidepressants you will lose your sex drive. It is important to keep lines of communication open between you and your partner. If you don’t talk about your problems this can lead to misunderstandings. Your partner may begin to feel unattractive, that there is some hostility, or that you are losing interest in them. Being open and honest is the best way to prevent hurt feelings from developing. Some people misunderstand what is happening to their bodies, believing that because they are feeling happier and working better, sex is something expendable. But it doesn’t have to be that way. People who take antidepressants can still enjoy sex—it simply takes education, understanding and planning. Find A Professional Who Wants To Help The first option would be to consult with your psychiatrist and see if the dosage or brand of antidepressant could be responsible for sexual side effects. However, consider a word of caution: Some doctors might dismiss any complaints, suggesting that patients are much better off than before and that any loss of sexual appetite is just a necessary price to pay. Sex is a normal, vibrant part of life and if you are asked to stifle that desire and also deprive your partner of their needs, then that simply sounds like bad medical advice. That is not to say that you should mistrust your doctor entirely, or worse yet ignore his recommended prescription. In fact, going against a doctor’s orders regarding dosage can prove dangerously unhealthy. But also know that you are in control of your own life and if your complaints are ignored by a doctor, you can seek additional help elsewhere. Some people choose to seek counseling whether by a psychologist, sex therapist or sex surrogate when a doctor cannot help them beyond medical treatment. These licensed professionals would be more inclined to listen and probably more qualified to deal with sexual problems. In choosing a practitioner, it is important that your source be knowledgeable in sexuality and specifically in dealing with sexual problems since that will be the focal point of the visit. Seeking help from a professional when problems arise! Consider it a form of keeping up good health. And the sooner the better, because it can be more difficult to cure sexual problems the longer you wait. Don’t substitute life happiness for sexual fulfillment. You can have both if you really want to. “The Impact of Prostate Surgery on Sex” Over 230,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year. Thanks to modern science, the majority will live and successfully go through prostate surgery. They will either seek radiation or a prostatectomy. In many cases because prostate cancer is slow moving, and because long-term survival rates are better for surgery than radiation, most men will choose a prostatectomy. Yes, obviously there will be heavy aftereffects in a recovering patient’s sex life. Four out of five men after recovering from prostate surgery will suffer some sexual problems whether it be erectile dysfunction, ejaculation or painful intercourse. Some patients are as young as 30 years old and still suffer from impotence. There is no way to completely avoid any sexual problems when recovering from such an operation since nerves run from the prostate to the penis and will directly be affected by the surgery. You Can And Will Have Sex Again However, there is good news. Not only can a man recover from prostate cancer and extend his life, he can also regain a healthy sex life. It’s just a matter of seeking education and treatment from a professional doctor, counselor or surrogate. It is a fact that a man can still have an orgasm even if he cannot ejaculate. So treatments for sexual dysfunction after prostate surgery focus on the person creating and maintaining an erection. Viagra is a popular erectile dysfunction drug, but studies show it is only effective for prostatectomy patients 20% of the time. Viagra and other similar drugs only increase blood flow to the penis; but the penis needs an intact nerve network in order to become engorged and thus maintain an erection. While pills are one option often prescribed, some doctors or urologists will recommend penile injections, which do have a high success rate mainly because the arousing chemicals are injected directly into the penis rather than taken orally. Naturally, this recommendation is not popular with many men because it takes the spontaneity out of sex. That is why many partners learn how to give the injections on behalf of their lover and then work them into the foreplay. Men can also directly inject themselves 15-20 minutes before sexual activity. Another option is the vacuum pump that has a fairly high success rate in creating erections. It is not as popular as other alternatives because it requires the use of a hand or battery operated device that increases blood flow to the penis. Because of the circumstances, older men who have been comfortable with the same partner for many years usually choose this option. A penile implant is another option. It has the highest success rate (near 90%) but still disturbs some because of invasiveness. An implant can produce a good erection size, give a man more control over his response and also looks the most natural, thus putting spontaneity back into his life. There are three different implants to choose from: three piece inflatable implants, two piece inflatable implants and semi-rigid pliable rods that can be positioned by the man or his partner. Implants are costly with prices anywhere from $15,000 to $35,000, but some plans including Medicare do cover the procedure. While implants do not affect a man’s sensations or abilities to have an orgasm, they can contribute to his self-esteem, enjoyment and that of his partner’s. Consulting A Professional Counseling also plays an important role. After prostate surgery, a man shouldn’t have to drop all sexual activity. It would be depriving him and his partner of something enjoyable and beneficial to his health. In fact, the longer he goes without having sex or seeking treatment the more sexual problems will start to accelerate. Most doctors or urologists simply don’t have the time or knowledge to deal exclusively with sexual problems. So it's important to find a professional who has an extensive background in the field of sexuality and working with sexual problems. Sexual counseling can help individuals or couples, particularly in deciding what further action to take. Some people might want to seek further medical help, whereas others might be satisfied with what they learn in the counseling session. Sex is a natural part of a happy and healthy lifestyle. Just because a man has successfully recovered from prostate surgery does not mean his sex life is a thing of the past. His sex life and that of his partner can be just as active as he wants it to be. “The Impact of Alcohol, Drugs & Tobacco on Sex” For some reason sex, along with tobacco, alcohol and illegal drugs are thought of as vices. Yet sex is something healthy and completely normal. Whereas tobacco, overdrinking alcoholic beverages, and illegal drugs are not only unhealthy for the body, they can also impede your sex life. It’s a shame that many people would rather contaminate their bodies with harmful substances than stay healthy and experience the best sex of their lives. By now everyone’s heard how unhealthy tobacco, overdrinking and drug use are. But is it really a fact that they can affect a person’s sexuality? Yes, consider the effects. "Alcohol—Not As Sexy As It Sounds" Whereas many might see excessive alcohol as the prelude to great sex, science says the exact opposite. Men who suffer from premature ejaculation retain less control even after just a small drink, much less a heavy amount. Studies have also shown that moderate to high levels of alcohol can result in fewer orgasms, less intense orgasms or even no orgasm at all. Women can also be affected sexually by overdrinking. While the desire for sex may be increased, even moderate amounts of alcohol can affect a person’s sexual response and performance. Dehydration from alcohol can lead to less vaginal lubrication, which increases the possibility of painful intercourse or even the breaking of condoms. There are also ethical considerations. Alcohol can impair a person’s judgment and along with sexual arousal and foreplay (which already impair judgment) it can make it difficult for a person to ponder the consequences of their actions. Unplanned sexual activity can lead to many problems, the least of which is hurt feelings, and the worst of which could be sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies. Many women because of alcoholic consumption, willful or otherwise, have been date raped and many men have been accused of date rape in some states that don’t consider sex consensual when alcohol is involved. Lastly, while booze may make sex easier it never makes sex better. Excessive alcohol sedates the central nervous system, which is what creates all that excitement, thus defeating the whole purpose of the sexy encounter. "Marijuana—Takes The Edge And Enjoyment Out Of Sex" Marijuana is a popular though illegal drug, and many believe that it doesn’t have any major side effects. However, there is a cause for concern. While marijuana might have low dependency and high intoxication potential, with low physical damage, it does have other adverse effects. Yes, some of those can be sexual. As far as marijuana being an aphrodisiac, the drug does not affect everyone the same. Some users claim that the drug helps sexual intensity while others claim that it’s more difficult to become aroused. Some users have said that the drug provides a deeper spiritual connection to their lover, but scientists believe hallucinations merely create the illusion of better sex. Longtime marijuana smoking also increases the likelihood of infertility, as men have been reported to have lower sperm counts, and women abnormal ovulation. Using marijuana while pregnant can be damaging to a fetus. The THC in marijuana crosses the placental barrier, thus increasing the risk of pregnancy loss, birth defects, and the retardation of the future baby’s growth and development. "Ecstasy—Sexually And Physically Harmful" Ecstasy is another drug used for a rush that actually causes more sexual problems than it gives sexual peaks. While the drug does affect the senses, it actually diminishes the enjoyment of sex and reduces a person’s sexual response. It can cause a lack of lubrication in women, and erectile problems in men. Both men and women who use the drug might have trouble orgasming. It is true that Ecstasy might help in delaying a man’s orgasm for a long period of time. However, the repercussions of Ecstasy—including mind distortion, loss of good judgment and possible death—make the drug more trouble than it’s worth. "Tobacco—Choose Between Great Sex Or A Quick Smoke" Smoking affects a person’s sex life and in more important ways than just bad breath. Studies have shown there is a link to impotence and smoking. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor, which means it tightens blood vessels and restricts the blood flow. Common sense says that a man’s erection depends on blood flow. Therefore, just 2 cigarettes could cause weaker erections in male smokers. Would smoking affect a woman’s sex life also? Yes, because during intercourse the woman’s vagina, labia and clitoris also become engorged, and this enhances arousal. If the blood flow were restricted then it would have a negative effect on sensation. Smoking also has been linked to birth defects and mothers-to-be are strongly cautioned not to smoke while pregnant. Finally, cancer is not very sexy. Very little about stained teeth, unhealthy skin, premature wrinkles and the “perfume” of smoke is sexy. A better sex life is just one more reason to quit smoking. Yes, excessive alcohol, drugs and tobacco can affect your sex life and worse yet, your physical life. Sex is only enjoyable when you’re alive and is best when you’re healthy and able to feel all your body’s wonderful sensations. “How Body Image Affects Sex” “Delayed Ejaculation” Delayed ejaculation means that a man is unable to ejaculate during physical intercourse or with manual stimulation. It is different from impotence because in this case the man can get aroused and develop an erection; he just cannot reach climax. While the idea of a man lasting longer in bed sounds good, delayed ejaculation has nothing to do with increased pleasure for him. It’s a sexual dysfunction and it’s not pleasant for those who experience it. Psychological Causes Often times however delayed ejaculation is a biological problem. Some prescription medications including Prozac, Mellaril and Guanethidine can cause side effects of delayed ejaculation. If a man has never been able to ejaculate during sex, then it would point to a physical problem. It could be possible that a condition known as retrograde ejaculation has developed, in which the semen travels backwards into the bladder. Other physical causes of delayed ejaculation may be stroke, damage to the spinal cord or an injury to the back. If a biological problem is causing this condition then it is important to see a doctor. A urologist could tell you if there were a physical irregularity and the best treatment to seek. If you think the condition is resulting from medications you’re taking, then it’s best to consult your doctor so that he or she can adjust the prescription. Don’t stop taking medication on your own since this could be dangerous. But don’t simply ignore the problem either, since sexual dysfunction gets worse as more time passes. Effective treatment of a physical problem requires prompt medical attention. How Surrogate Therapy Can Help If delayed ejaculation is a recent problem, and there seems to be no physical or medicinal cause, then it may be a psychological issue that can be helped by sex surrogate therapy. Sex surrogates can help clients become more comfortable with intimacy and restore their confidence. They can teach clients to relax, to enjoy the moment, and reduce the frustration and tension that contribute to so many sexual problems. Surrogate therapy or sex counseling can help individuals or couples. If relationship difficulties seem to be a primary cause of delayed ejaculation or other sexual dysfunctions, then a sex therapist might recommend relationship and marriage counseling to both partners. The situation could be resulting from a lack of communication and nothing more. What matters is that the problem is treated. If you feel you are experiencing a problem with delayed ejaculation then talk to a sex therapist or sex surrogate. Delayed ejaculation is a type of sexual dysfunction that might be easy to ignore out of embarrassment, but one that is potentially dangerous to dismiss. At the very least, to not seek treatment would be depriving yourself or your partner of a better sex life. Growing older doesn’t mean your sex life is history. While it is true that your body starts to slow down after middle age, men in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s can still have active lifestyles. They can eat plenty, exercise, be active in their careers and hobbies—and yes, still have sex! Seniors who are active and in good health should be able to retain all of their youthful activities, even without popping a Viagra pill. However it is true that sometimes there are emotional and physical changes that take place in older men that can result in a slowdown of activity, happiness and appetite. If they are otherwise in good health, then low testosterone could be the problem. Symptoms Of Low Testosterone Low testosterone is most recognizable in sexual areas. Men suffering from this condition may be unable to perform sexually or perform poorly, with problems in maintaining erections or climaxing too soon. These problems are not necessarily sexual dysfunctions. They often result because the low testosterone level is affecting the body, causing a lack of energy, less endurance or a waning sex drive. The deficiency can even cause psychological blocks in sensitive men because of the physical changes taking place. He may start to feel unattractive, lose his confidence and thus become afraid of intimacy. All of these changes can cause irritability and depression in a person and can be just as hard on a partner, emotionally and sexually. But getting older doesn’t mean that your life is over. A better way to look at it is that you’re now living the best years of your life. Many men take advantage of retirement and devote their time to forgotten hobbies or second honeymoons. And if low testosterone is all that is keeping you down, then there are solutions that can get you back in the game. (And even back in the sack) Herbal Solutions One way to increase testosterone levels is through herbal remedies. Tribulus Terrestris Extract is a common herb which jump starts the body in producing Luteinizing Hormones, which stick to receptors and stimulate the synthesis and secretion of testosterone. Herbal remedies are preferred by many because they don’t require a prescription or a formal doctor visit. However, if the condition is more severe, or if herbal remedies don’t seem to be helping, then a doctor examination might be necessary. A doctor can advise you of other options to increase testosterone levels, such as oral preparations or injections. Surrogate Therapy As A Solution Finally, sex surrogate therapy is an option for men who want to avoid medication and herbs in seeking treatment. Obviously, surrogate therapy cannot physically increase testosterone levels like a doctor can, but it can help men who want to improve their sex life and feel they are lacking in some area. Maybe due to physical changes, they are feeling unattractive or are developing a fear of intimacy. Perhaps they are suffering from erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and would rather stay clear of extra medications to overcome the problem. Sex surrogate therapy can help. Getting older is just a part of life. But losing your sexual desire or ability to perform doesn’t have to be. If you’re noticing a serious change in your lifestyle, then let someone else help. Live out the best days of your life with energy and passion. Anticipation is in the air; the mood is achingly sensual and has been that way all night. Dinner was great and the show was fantastic. Tonight is the night, she thinks and he hopes. They stand on the porch, both waiting for something magical to happen, both yearning for the night to continue. “Goodnight, love,” she says with a voice of restrained desire. She’s sending all the right signals and so he decides to take a chance. In a moment of fervid passion he kisses her. She kisses him back with fire. Before they can even shut the door behind them they’re all over each other and getting intensely physical. They make their way over to the bedroom. They undress each other as they giggle and sigh in ecstasy. She reaches for his manhood… And then it’s over. He’s dreadfully embarrassed and she’s trying to hide her disappointed. Premature ejaculation (or coming too quickly) can be an embarrassing sexual problem to deal with, and yet it’s one of the most common sexual problems among men, affecting 30% of the population. Not only can it be embarrassing it can be downright discouraging to both partners and even put an end to an otherwise healthy relationship. It can destroy a man’s confidence and sexually frustrate his partner. While inconsiderate lovers may not think of the condition as a serious problem, any one aiming to please his partner will want to get help. For many men, the best part of sex is pleasing their partner! Diagnosing Premature Ejaculation The term encompasses the loss of the male’s control both in early sexual stages as well as after penetration. In the 1950’s sex researchers including Masters and Johnson defined premature ejaculation as when a man ejaculates before a woman’s orgasm in more than 50% of sexual encounters. Other researchers claimed the term was applicable if a man ejaculated within 2 minutes of penetration, a claim later refuted by Kinsey. In the modern age, premature ejaculation refers to a general lack of ejaculatory control that can lead to sexual or emotional problems in relationships. The condition is common among younger men, and by in large is attributed to early “conditioning.” Teenagers’ sexual experiences (especially masturbation) tend to be quick whether to avoid being caught or because of youthful exuberance. The body then learns to orgasm and ejaculate as soon as possible. However, this is not true in every case. Many middle-aged men also suffer from quick climax and some younger men who masturbated frequently in their youth reported no trouble with premature ejaculation. The underlying reasons for this condition vary; it could be anxiety, learned behavior or a sign of inhibition. Psychological Factors There could also be a number of psychological factors involved. If a man is overly nervous about sexual activity then this could cause a loss of control. Some people reason that alcohol can be treatment against “nervous” premature ejaculation but there is no evidence that suggests this is true. We know alcohol is a general sex buster and over-drinking can lead to impotence. Dismissing a serious problem like premature ejaculation could prove disastrous for your sex life now and in the future. While some men might be embarrassed to seek help for such a condition, it is far more preferable to treat the problem than continue to suffer during intimate moments. What Kind Of Treatments Are Available? Sometimes in mild cases of premature ejaculation self-prescribed remedies are tried by frustrated lovers. Some of these are distraction techniques, whether mental (think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts…), or physical (pinch yourself read hard, bite the pillow), or are merely short-term fixes like buying some “stay hard” gel at your local convenience store. However, these solutions usually prove ineffective in treating the real problem. Distraction techniques defeat the whole purpose of the encounter, which is to enjoy sex. Treating the problem with over the counter drugs is a risk, not to mention a weekly shopping embarrassment. Some anesthetics can dull the sensations for you and your partner and may end up making you both numb. Drugs can also cause a skin reaction or worse yet, a medical condition known as a priapism (five-hour erection) that will be twice as embarrassing to treat in the ER than shopping at the drugstore was. Another common treatment is for a doctor to prescribe antidepressant drugs, which are known to sometimes produce a side effect of longer lasting erections. However, this is also a risk. Antidepressants are powerful drugs, not only capable of delaying ejaculation but also causing erectile dysfunction, along with other sexual and physical side effects. If you feel medication is your only option be sure and speak with your doctor first. Constricting penis rings have also been tried before, but have yet to offer any long-term solutions to an age-old problem. The Best Solution The best solution in treating premature ejaculation is not to use a quick fix every time you want to have sex. Rather, it’s learning how to control your body, your penis, your desire and lastly your climax. Like any other form of exercise, sex requires education if you want to do it right. Sex surrogate therapy can be your personal trainer in teaching you how to overcome premature ejaculation and last longer in bed. Surrogates work closely with therapists and determine along with the client the most effective way to treat sexual problems—with long term positive results. Unlike taking penile drugs, surrogate therapy is not a risky quick fix. It’s sexual education that you can keep for the rest of your life. Actual activities that will be used in therapy sessions will be left up to the sex therapist and surrogate to determine. Techniques used may include relaxation tips, visual, aural or kinesthetic practices, flexing the “PC” muscle, physical exercises or even the famous Master and Johnson “grip” method that can prevent a man from climaxing even when it’s imminent. Please note that many men or couples try and learn the Masters and Johnson technique on their own, but usually end up doing it wrong. It is a somewhat complicated procedure and should be taught by clinical professionals to avoid injury and of course, premature ejaculation. The good news is that premature ejaculation is treatable. The longer you wait to get help the more embarrassing it will be and the more it will crush your self-esteem. Look into sex surrogate therapy as a permanent solution to a common problem and make sure your next date is a passionate one from beginning to end. Anorgasmia is not a woman’s disorder. It is, however, better documented for women than men, and is more likely to affect women. While lifelong Anorgasmia does affect 15% of women, 45% percent of women have experienced inhibited orgasm at some point in life. Anorgasmia can simply mean the concerning absence of an orgasm during sexual intercourse, though it is usually in reference to a dysfunction that prevents a person from reaching climax even with adequate stimulation. Anorgasmia in women may go undetected, if the woman never reports the problem and prefers faking orgasms to hurting her lover’s feelings. Anorgasmia Can Affect Men Too Some men also have been known to have problems reaching orgasm. Anorgasmia is technically different from the disorder known as delayed ejaculation, though causes, symptoms and therapies between the two are usually the same. Ejaculation is the release of semen from the penis whereas an orgasm is a series of muscle contractions that releases sexual tension. While most men do orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, there is no scientific reason why they have to. Anorgasmia, however, prevents both ejaculation and orgasm in men. 90% of Anorgasmia cases involve psychological issues. For example some men can reach orgasm while masturbating or through prolonged foreplay, but not during intercourse. This strongly indicates it’s a psychological issue and not a physical dysfunction. Cause And Effect What causes this condition? Stress and performance anxiety are leading factors, though these two causes are usually temporary and not necessarily related to serious sexual problems. Other psychological problems might include marital difficulties and a monotonous sex routine. In situations like this good communication and a genuine effort put forth to spice up your sex life might be just what you need to experience an orgasm. However, other causes of the disorder are more difficult to treat. Sometimes Anorgasmia can be traced to a person’s negative attitudes towards sex that stem from childhood. A history of rape, child abuse or adult sexual abuse can instill a fear of losing control or of enjoying sex in a person who has suffered through such trauma. Treatment dealing with past abuse is the most intensive form of sex therapy. Anorgasmia is for the most part not a physical problem, as in a congenital defect or disease. But it can be brought on by physical harm to the body. Alcohol, prescription and illegal drugs can hinder orgasmic response. Chronic illnesses and pains can affect sexuality. Spinal cord injury, multiple sclerosis, hormone problems and diabetes are other physical problems that can impact orgasmic reaction. There are treatments available for Anorgasmia, and most of them would not involve medicine or surgery. However, if the condition raises concern, a physical examination might be an appropriate. That way any organic causes could be ruled out before seeking further solutions. The Most Effective Treatment Available Sexual therapy would be best suited to help with Anorgasmia, since it is a sexual problem and not a medical condition. A qualified sex therapist and sex surrogate could work with an Anorgasmia sufferer and provide educational treatment. Marriage and relationship counseling might also prove effective and treat Anorgasmia that is brought on by communication problems. Methods used during surrogate therapy are scientifically researched and generally have a high success rate. That is not to say that Anorgasmia can definitely be cured. There have been some cases, probably stemming far back into childhood, where a person has been traumatized by a past event and can never fully recover. While surrogate therapy can’t perform physical miracles, can still help the person to learn how to enjoy sex even if orgasm is not possible. Therapy helps to relax a client; to let him or her feel comfortable with their bodies and to restore sexual confidence. What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You Many cases that are not linked to psychological trauma or relationship issues simply involve a lack of sexual knowledge. Sometimes people lack basic understanding of their sexual organs and how they work, or at least lack the opportunity to practice sexual activity in a safe, private and acceptable atmosphere. Anorgasmia is a frustrating problem that can lead to relationship difficulties and stress. What a shame it would be if the only thing holding you back from a much better sex life complete with orgasm was simple education. Sex surrogacy is all about education. Sex therapy teaches clients about sex and how to enjoy it. You cannot spot an adult virgin in a crowd. There is no true stereotype to think of when it comes to illustrating a face of virginity. Many virgins are attractive and look just like any other sexually active man or woman walking down the street. Not all adult virgins are socially inept or lacking in charm and intelligence. Not all virgins possess a nerdy personality or a physical handicap. The only sure thing you can say about adult virginity is that some people are that way by choice, while others want to have sex, but for some reason haven’t been able to get very far in the dating scene. What Is There To Be Afraid Of? Sex therapists and surrogates have reported a steady number of adult-virgin clients. They can be young, middle aged or elderly, and possess various physical features. Yes, some of them might have a disability or be lacking in traditionally handsome (or beautiful) qualities. But just as many adult virgins are quite good looking and suffer from some form of social disorder. Social anxiety, poorly developed dating skills, a lack of confidence, a sexual dysfunction, or a psychological problem could be holding them back from engaging in normal sexual relationships. The dating world can be difficult to break into, even somewhat harsh, to a person with budding social skills—and one who, by traditional standards, should be already finished with the dating scene. Adult virgins who seek sex surrogacy as a solution do so because they are tired of feeling helpless in their lives. They don’t want to be alone forever and so decide to take positive steps towards learning what they don’t know. Men, Women & Virginity Interestingly, virginal men seem to outnumber women, not in hard statistics but in total reported cases from sex therapists. Some claim that men have more insistent desires and so are inclined to take definite action before shyer women do. (Since many women are raised in contemporary society to be sexually inhibited) Another way to look at it is that traditionally, or even evolutionarily, man is the aggressor in courtship and women usually react to the man’s pursuit. Therefore, with so many alpha-males to choose from in society, a woman will always have the chance to lose her virginity. A virginal man on the other hand, might be trying to court attention but be failing in his efforts. For whatever reason, sex surrogacy seems to be the choice of mostly virginal men and so they are the focus of this article. The advent of the Internet has made it easier for the adult virgin to seek sexual therapy and surrogacy as a solution. In years past, virgins had no choice but to be isolated, hope for charity, or seek phone sex as some form of sexual activity. Now, however, an Internet search of “sex surrogate” or “sex surrogacy” can put a man in touch with a sex surrogate-therapist team nationwide as a treatment for his problem. A Permanent Cure For Loneliness That is, a permanent cure to his plight, not a meaningless one-time experience. Sex surrogacy is primarily about sexual education. Men who are interested in surrogacy are seeking permanent solutions to their problems—learning what they don’t know. Qualified therapists and sex surrogates teach them the skills, the techniques and the knowledge necessary to go out into the real world and form relationships. In addition to knowledge, sometimes physical or sexual touching is involved in order to teach the client confidence and get him comfortable with his own sexuality. Some adult virgins are not only nervous with women, they are completely unable to act or converse without some form of proactive therapy to illustrate what should be happening. If a man is intimidated by women then friendly encouragement and advice will only take him so far. Possessing all the knowledge, without the confidence that comes from experience, may frustrate him even more. What Sex Surrogacy Can Do Sex surrogates can give men the experience and the education that they need—not to have romance or sex in a clinic, but to prepare them for the real dating world. Surrogate therapy can teach men how to touch and be touched, how to build self-esteem; it can provide experience, it can help with confusion about physical sex or relationships, it can teach him about women’s bodies and about his own body. Finally, it teaches him to alleviate his fears and inhibitions and just enjoy sex like everyone else does. Telling an unhappy adult virgin to just get out there and start dating is not helpful. Paying a prostitute for sex just so you can lose your virginity is not helpful (and illegal in 48 states). And for a 40 Year Old Virgin who wants to have sex, just living in fear of the unknown is a terrible way to spend the last few years of your youth. Why not look into sex surrogate therapy and make a serious, committed decision to change your sex life for the better.
Puffing the magic dragon. Kicking the Cajun Sausage Up a Notch. Trading in the Escort for a Stretch Limo. And of course, turning Crouching Tiger into Hidden Dragon. (from Top5.Com) But in many cases, laughter just wasn’t enough to stop the worry. By the time medical technology had advanced, the process of penile enlargement had become an option and many men would start to look for answers to their “small” problems in surgery. Nearly everyone has heard of penile enlargement as a solution, but not everyone knows what actually goes on down there during penis enlargement surgery. There are three major types of penile surgery to consider, and two others of special interest. Let’s first review the widely accepted surgical methods. 1.Injections Nobody seems to like the word injection used in the same sentence as your penis. But the innovative method of injection is one of the most preferred surgery options. In the surgery, fat cells are taken from other parts of the body and injected into the shaft of the penis, below the skin surface. This only increases the thickness of the penis not the length; however, thicker is better than length at least in theory. The problem is that this method of penile enlargement is slightly flawed. First, the penile shaft does not naturally have a great deal of fat cells, and so the appearance of the supposedly new and improved penis can look and feel strange or disproportionate. There is also the risk of the injected fat shifting entirely the wrong way which would make the penis look less like a magic dragon and more like a symptom of Peyronie’s disease. Other injections that can be used besides fat cells are volumes of liquid silicone. When injected into the penis and scrotum, this can drastically increase the girth of the penis. However, this method of surgery also has side effects and complications including the loss of sensation, scarring, deformation and even erectile dysfunction. Yes, that means a man’s ability to have intercourse could become hindered or even permanently disabled. Talk about counterproductive! Other injected substances have proven just as unstable with many side effects and scarring being reported. 2.Cutting Another risky surgical method is ligament cutting, where the basal penile ligament is surgically cut. In some cases this can cause the lengthening of the penis (as opposed to girth) by some 2 inches. However, not every case has been successful. Some subjects have claimed there was no noticeable difference in length after going under the knife. Anatomically speaking, when the basal ligament is cut from the pubic symphysis, this allows more of the penis to hang outside the body. When this happens, however, the penis will be unsupported and will start to point downward and unnaturally wobble. Erections will not be as hard as before, since the internal structure has been damaged. 3.Implants Implants aren’t just for women; now there is such a thing as a penile implant. This is done by replacing the pair of corpora cavernosa (a sponge-like area of erectile tissue) with inflatable implants. These cylinder replacements can be naturally sized or made to be even larger. A pump device can be implanted in the groin and be manipulated to fill the cylinders with an implanted reservoir, thus manually achieving an erection. There are many risks involved in this form of surgery, including the stretching of surrounding penile tissue which could cause serious complications. Because of this, this form of penis enlargement is usually only recommended for impotent men. 4.Beading Genital beading is not as widely accepted as the other three methods, though it is gaining popularity in other countries. In this “surgical” practice, foreign objects are implanted under the foreskin or shaft of the penis. Various objects have been used including those made of steel, plastic, stones, jewelry, rings and studs. Some individuals from foreign cultures believe these beads have magical benefits, while others believe these items can simply enhance sexual pleasure. 5.Transplant Finally, there’s transplantation, an experimental surgery where another penis is medically attached to a person. (Frankenpenis anyone?) Reports of successful operations are unverified, though medically speaking it is feasible that one could happen. However, it should be noted that there’s no evidence to suggest that any significant sensation could develop in the transplanted penis. Penile Surgery Is A Risk These are three accepted and two radical forms of penile surgery, each theoretically capable of increasing a man’s penis size whether in length or girth. But is penis enlargement surgery really a good idea? While penile surgery has advanced considerably over the years, many surgeons refuse to offer these medical procedures because of the risks involved. Every surgical treatment listed has possible side effects and serious complications. Men interested in penis enlargement surgery are usually encouraged to seek advice from their doctors, or even to consult a counselor, before deciding to undergo such a drastic operation. Looking at the issue objectively, surgery is at the very least a risk and an expensive one at that. Looking for a good phalloplastic surgeon is the one time a man can’t skimp on cost! Other Penis Enlargement Methods There are other methods to look into besides penis enlargement surgery. However, it should be noted that many of these non-surgical alternatives carry their own risks. Pills that are advertised over the Internet are largely believed to be scam products, and reportedly they might even include dangerous ingredients like pesticides and lead. Penis pumps, along with such physical techniques as traction and clamping, are all similar in that they increase blood pressure or blood flow to the penis causing engorgement and thus a slight increase in size. However, all of these techniques and products have been known to cause occasional injury, causing ruptured blood vessels, and damage to penile nerves and tissues. Major damage could lead to minor or permanent erectile dysfunction. Safe Treatments With A Better Success Rate Now that you’ve heard the risks of some popular but notorious types of penile enlargement therapies, I’m going to share with you the two methods of penile solutions that sex surrogacy has found to be the most successful. While they are quite simple solutions, sexological studies and experience have taught us that they work and they provide more long-term benefits than surgical or physical therapies. The first treatment is a cosmetic improvement. Some men have spared themselves the recovery period and thousand-dollar investment, and have chosen to alter their appearance rather than their penis. For example, when a man trims his pubic hair or loses some weight this can give the appearance of a larger penis. More importantly, this emphasizes the lesson that good grooming and good physical shape are just as big a deal as the actual measurement of a penis. The second treatment I would advise a man considering penis enlargement, beyond all physical reasoning, is to develop a better body image of himself. Body image is our own level of self-confidence. It’s how we feel about ourselves and how we project those feelings to others. A man who possesses a healthy body image is confident in his ability, his personality and his body. He doesn’t feel the need for surgery, pumps or poisonous pills to improve his penis. And wouldn’t you know it? A man with a good body image is much happier in life than the man who is devoting so much time and money to penis enlargement therapy. (And if you ask his lover, most likely she will concur that the real thing is so much more enjoyable than a wobbly substitute) If you or someone you know has difficulty developing a positive body image or is thinking about penis enlargement therapy, why not consider sexual surrogacy? Sexual therapy and surrogacy can teach a man how to develop a better body image and be happy with himself and his “magic dragon”, of average size and in perfectly working condition. “A Ring For Your Eleventh Finger: How A Cock Ring Can Help You” Everybody’s heard of a “cock ring” (sometimes politely referred to as a C-ring, you know, during political speeches and such) but have you ever wondered what this device actually does? This ring is not for show, and though it may look kinky, its use is anatomical. A cock ring is a type of sex toy that is placed around a man’s penis. It can be put around different areas of the penis, including the head, midways down the shaft, or most frequently, at the base. Cock rings can also be worn around the scrotum, with or without a base ring. These are called testicle cuffs, though if they are attached with a base ring, they might be called a triple cock ring or triple crown. Cock rings can be made of various materials including leather, silicone, nylon, rubber and metal. What Good Is A Cock Ring? Consider a cock ring a “little toy with big benefits.” What are the big benefits? A cock ring constricts blood flow and slows leakage from erect penile tissue, causing more blood to remain in the shaft of the penis. This allows a man to keep an erection for longer periods of time, makes the penis slightly larger and harder, and heightens and delays a man’s orgasm. Now you see why this toy can bring benefits—regardless of how big anyone is. Cock rings are very helpful in treating some forms of sexual dysfunction including premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. Far from being just a therapeutic device, however, these rings can also enhance your sex life. Men can use them with partners or even by themselves. Not only can a ring delay ejaculation, and constrict blood flow, (both of which will dramatically heighten orgasm) consider what a triple crown can do: in regular orgasm, the testicles retract towards the body before ejaculation; however, with a triple crown, the rings force the testicles away from the body during ejaculation, and this feature intensifies orgasm three times over! Not Just For Him But won’t the lady get jealous of all the time her man is spending with this ring? Not to worry—a cock ring can also be enjoyed with two players. Some rings including a clitoral stimulator, or a vibrator that can stimulate either partner’s hot spots. (Vulva, perineum, anus, etc.) Combine these tickling features with regular intense intercourse, and sex with a partner could be dramatically intensified. There hasn’t been a ring this amazing since the ring of Sauron! The Abuse Of Cock Rings However, like any special tool, particularly when the tool involves sensitive body parts, a cock ring must be used properly. Cock rings are usually not adjustable, nor designed to be one-size-fits-all. Care is needed when choosing a proper fit. If you choose a ring that is too tight, than this most certainly will not heighten orgasm but could cut off blood circulation entirely. Would that be a good thing? No. A cock ring is meant to increase the size of the erection just a little bit—not squeeze the life out of the little fellow. In fact, wearing a cock ring that is too tight—or even wearing a good fit for an excessive period of time—could be very dangerous. It could even lead to a priapism. Despite any exhibitionism kinks one might have, a priapism is very unsexy. A priapism is a sustained and painful erection that lasts for hours and can only be fixed by a trip to the emergency room. Refusing to see a doctor for a priapism is an even greater risk, since penile gangrene could develop, which would result in, sadly, the end of your penis. This is not to say that all cock rings are dangerous—only the abuse of such toys can be. When choosing a ring, make sure it is not too tight. Secondly, make sure that if you notice any pronounced swelling or pain, that you remove the item without delay. Another sign that the penis is being overly constricted might be if the man’s genitals start to feel cold. Cock rings are meant for sex, to be used in a comfortable and pleasurable manner, during sex. Cock rings are not supposed to be worn to sleep or for casual walks to the store. A little bit of common sense can go a long way in using a cock ring safely. What To Look For When Shopping For Rings When choosing a ring try and look for one that has a “quick-release feature”, that allows them to be removed easily without strain. For the best results, try a ring made out of nonmetallic materials, since metal can easily irritate the skin. Finally, if you want a cock ring then buy a cock ring. Never try and create your own sex toy at home, as rubber bands or common household items are not meant for human skin. A cock ring is not a magical or even a technologically impressive device by any means. Its value lies in the fact that sexual expertise was used in designing it. Sexual education is what truly intensifies great sex, not any handheld or constricting device. Have you ever considered sexual surrogacy as a way to improve your sex life? Sexual surrogacy is all about teaching individuals and couples effective ways to improve their sex life, far beyond just a simple cock ring. Contact a sex surrogate and find out how sexual education can help you. There is panic in the streets! Thousands of men are running scared all over the country, and not over King Kong or that big fire breathing dragon. Rather, this type of panic is known as penis panic. While the definition “penis panic” is linked to a culture specific syndrome, involving superstition and the belief that your penis is shrinking due to witchcraft, there is an Americanized penis panic that many men deal with. That is simply the belief that their penis is too small and some drastic action has to be taken. So many men will turn to pills, penis pumps, penile surgery and an interesting physical technique called “jalqing”, all so they can have a large penis and presumably satisfy women. How Big Should It Be? In a male-dominated society, it seems often times that the size of a man’s penis is equated with his masculinity. Men are very competitive by nature and so it’s not surprising how many times they will pass along exaggerated stories, discuss unbelievable photos and sightings, and spread urban myths about how big they are and how popular they’re becoming with the ladies, who of course, only care about size. The legend of King Kong not withstanding, how big should a man’s penis be? Believe it or not, the average size of a fully erect penis measured from the top of the penis from the groin to the tip is considered 5-6 inches. Some studies, including the Journal of Urology, as well as Lifestyles Condoms, found the average penis to be five inches or slightly higher, some studies reading as much as 5.9. Therefore, 5 to 6 inches is considered the average size of the typical man walking down the street. Therefore if a man is having some sort of penis panic over the fact that he’s not a ten-inch Superman (And even Superman hasn’t been depicted as that long) then he is fretting over nothing. Many men fall short of being gigantic, just as many men only reach 5 foot 9 in height rather than 6 foot eight. Just as many women have to live with the fact that they don’t look like Jennifer Aniston, so many men will have to learn they’re not as big as Milton Berle. (If you believe that) "Does Penis Size Really Matter?" Does penis size really matter? In terms of being attractive, no. Believe it or not, the first thing a woman notices about a man is not his groin. Groins are usually well covered out in public, and so more handsome features like the body shape, face, hairstyle or even hands, might be noticed first. A penis is the very last thing a woman will see when dating a man, and by the point of total nudity surely she will have found some other appealing qualities. Therefore it’s safe to say that rather that worry about penis enlargement pills or finding a good philloplastic surgeon that works for cheap (bad idea), a man looking to meet and satisfy women would do better to improve his body condition and personal grooming. (And yes, even his personality as shocking as it may seem) What about when sex is the key issue? Does penis size really matter in bed? In terms of physical intercourse, no. A woman’s vagina is a very elastic organ and can accommodate the small as easily as the large. Her most sensitive nerve endings are closer to the outside of the vagina, so an averagely endowed man will hit her hotspots as easily as Dirk Diggler. When a woman reaches orgasm, both physical anatomy and personal commentary tell us, it’s not about the size of the boat. What matters is how the man uses his penis, if he is a skilled, enduring and patient lover. Female orgasms are also dependent upon the woman; some women claim to feel no G-spot arousal, and others say only manual stimulation of the clitoris (through masturbation along with intercourse) can bring them to orgasm. All of this has nothing to do with penis size. That’s not to say that all women are unconcerned with size. Many women undoubtedly are turned on by the thought of a large penis and so may be very interested to know how massive their lover is. The one ultimate truth here is that big penis or not, a lack of sexual skills will disappoint a woman in bed. There are no magic pills that can turn you into a bigger lover or a better lover. The key to becoming a great lover is found in education and experience. Two Cures For Penis Panic The only two treatments I can recommend as a sexual surrogate as a cure for penis panic are (1) to improve your body image and (2) to improve your lovemaking skills. If you work on your body image and gain a level of self-confidence, then you will come to realize that penis size is not the most important thing in life, or relationships or even sex. It’s all about how you approach others and feel about yourself. Improving your sexual abilities is a little more complex, but still can be learned by anyone. The more you learn about sex, the better lover you will become. Sexual education can teach you how to keep an erection longer, how to pleasure your partner and how to make the experience truly enjoyable beyond just a release of sexual tension. Sexual surrogacy can bring about these two important cures to penis panic. If you’re concerned with the size of your penis or worry that you won’t have what it takes when it’s time for bed, then don’t panic. Sex surrogacy may be just what you’re looking for. “Different Strokes For Different Folks!” Condoms are not always seen as “romantic” or “sexy”, but then again, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies have a way of killing the mood. The good news is that condoms are not all the same, nor are they sterile devices that belong in a hospital. In fact, many condoms are designed to enhance the sexual experience in addition to physically protecting users. There are so many different types of condoms, however, that many people, especially first time buyers, may wonder which are the best kind to use? Consider the many differences. Latex And Polyurethane Condoms Most condoms are made out of latex, as latex seems to be the strongest material available that’s also equally comfortable. Polyurethane condoms are considered slightly less reliable because the material is not as strong. However, they are the only option if a person is allergic to latex. Extra Large, Extra Small Condoms There is of course a time and a place for penis exaggeration. Maybe when drinking beer with buddies or engaging in phone sex. However, a man’s accurate size is important in choosing what size condom will fit. There are both large and small condoms (speaking of girth, not length), for all penis sizes. But choosing an incorrect condom size just to look cool in front of the convenience store cashier is a bad idea. A condom that doesn’t fit snugly can easily fall off, and so is useless. On the other hand, a condom that is too tight can break and leave you unprotected at the worst possible moment. Lubricated Condoms Some condoms are not lubricated at all, while other brands have special types of lubricants whether water based or silicone based. Some lubricants slightly numb the man’s penis, which increases staying power. Spermicidal lubricant condoms kill off sperm and are a good idea if you or yours are worried about unwanted pregnancy. But be careful, as some people are sensitive to spermicide and overuse of the lubricant (in some cases) can lead to infection. Ribbed Condoms For lovers who don’t like the feeling of regular condoms, or lack of feeling more specifically, there are ribbed condoms which have ribbed little ridges or bumps running around them. This makes sex more pleasurable to both partners and brings back that “loving feeling.” Colored Condoms Condom appearances are as varied as the lovers who use them. Why settle for cream white colored products when you can choose orange, purple, black, green and—you guessed it—even glow in the dark condoms! Now sex can be even more fun in the dark. Flavored Condoms The urban legend is true…you cannot get pregnant by oral sex. But you can still catch an STD from unprotected fellatio or cunnilingus. Therefore, not only are there condoms for oral sex, there are also flavored condoms to get that latex taste out of your mouth. Flavors can be everything from cherry to vanilla and of course, chocolate! Male And Female While most condoms are male by design, there is now a female condom on the market that can be inserted into a woman’s vagina. Now even if the guy rudely forgets to bring a condom, safe sex will always be an option. Other Condoms There are another unique condoms such as climax control condoms, vibrating condoms, extra strength condoms, reservoir tipped condoms, and naturally warming condoms. Every condom serves a different purpose. Why choose just one brand for life when you can sample them all? A little variety is always good. Condom Samplers And The Internet Buying condoms is now more convenient and discreet than ever. You can order condoms online at reduced prices and have them delivered to your front door or post office box. Better yet many online stores offer a condom sampler pack where you can buy 100 condoms of a different variety. Do Condoms Work? In short, yes. While it’s true that condoms are not the perfect invention, and do sometimes fail (usually this is due to breaking) they are very necessary in today’s society. Condoms have generally 94-97% effectiveness rate at preventing pregnancy, and 99% rate at preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS. While nothing in life is 100% guaranteed, (except maybe the Men’s Warehouse?) not wearing any protection at all during sex is a dangerous and a potentially fatal risk. Unless you’re married and looking to start a family, why risk sex without protection? Better to be safe and lubricated than uncovered and very sorry. Sexual surrogacy has always taught the importance of condoms, among with many other aspects of sexual education. Remember, you can still be romantic, sexy and lustful even while wearing a condom. Just remember to have fun, have a good attitude when it comes to sex, and sample some of the more interesting condoms on the market. Wearing a condom is a safe and conscientious thing to do—and that’s what makes it truly sexy. “Desire Discrepancy—The Balancing Act” While it may be hard to believe for some, there is so much more to life than just sex. Many people realize this truth early on, many realize it much later in life. Unfortunately many people realize this while they are in a committed relationship with a partner who understands there is more to life than sex, but still wants and needs it often. This is known as a desire discrepancy or a libido imbalance. Why It’s A Problem Sex therapists say that desire discrepancy is one of the most common problems encountered in their practice. The imbalance can go either way; women can lose interest in sex and so can men. An imbalance is not the same thing as total impotence or prudishness; it’s not necessarily a sexual dysfunction as much as it is a general problem. Both partners could be at their sexual peak and simply be mismatched in sexual appetite. For example, a man might desire sex so many times a week while the woman simply doesn’t have the interest for more than once a week. They both may consider themselves sexually active, but because one partner is frustrated, communication starts to break down. Before long, sexual frustration leads to other problems and the entire relationship becomes threatened. There is nothing that necessarily causes desire discrepancy except a general mismatch in libido. However, it does seem that when a couple first meets, the less sexually active partner can mask his or her sexual energy. The excitement of new relationship causes both partners to want sex often, beyond what is considered the normal routine. After weeks and months of wild sex, the relationship starts to settle down. The novelty of attraction wears off, and even while the love between partners still might be strong, normal routines are established. This is when desire discrepancies—which were there all along—are finally brought out into the open. How To Correct The Imbalance Resolving this problem is, ironically, just a matter of balance. A couple must realize that first, this problem, while frustrating, is not an all-encompassing conundrum. It is not the primary flaw or everlasting shame of the other partner. It’s certainly not a problem that can be fixed by yelling, proving someone wrong, or throwing out personal insults to make a point. On the other hand, while not a true sexual dysfunction, it is a problem that deserves attention. A relationship should be about love and selflessly pleasing the other partner. If one person in the relationship is unhappy or sexually frustrated, then it is a major problem and one that will not go away in time. Sexual surrogates work closely with therapists and see many sexual problems in relationships, many of which can be traced to a lack of communication and a lack of empathy. You will notice that all of the following reminders I’m going to provide as strategies to use against desire discrepancy, are also examples of being good communicator and showing concern for the other partner’s feelings. Strategy #1: Dismiss the court. Many men and women like to play prosecutor, judge and executioner when it comes to relationships. However, once a couple realizes that no one is to blame for the way things are, that is the starting point when the problem itself can be worked on. Remember that there is nothing wrong with a partner who wants more sex or less sex. The solution lies in balancing out the imbalance. Strategy #2: Bring back the one-man show. When you started living together, you said goodbye to masturbation and condoms forever right? Well, consider bringing at least one of those back for old time’s sake. Masturbation can equalize a large imbalance between partners. If one partner has a high libido and his partner has already met him half way, then masturbation may be what he or she needs to finish off the rest of that erupting volcano of sensuality. Remember that you don’t have to live without sex—but neither should you force it on anyone else. Strategy #3: Adjust your volume. One of the ways an imbalance can be worked out is by each partner adjusting his or her libido for the other. If one partner desires more sex, and isn’t satisfied with masturbation, then it would be a good idea to cut back on stimulating the desire. (i.e. Turn off the porn, close the book, get Brad and Angelina out of your fantasies) Moreover, if one partner is trying to accommodate the other and has a slightly lower libido, then he or she can try fantasizing or touching themselves beforehand in expectation of the encounter. Consider it a way of pre-heating the oven before cooking. Strategy #4: Give to charity. You might not always be in the mood for sex, but sometimes pleasing a partner can be just as rewarding as satisfying a strong sexual urge in yourself. Sex doesn’t always have to be about quenching a strong insatiable urge. Sometimes, believe it or not, it can actually be an act of love. Strategy #5: You’ve mastered the art of dating and sex. Now master the art of compromise. Compromise is the fruitage of empathy. If we are never empathetic to other people’s feelings, we will never move beyond our own selfish wants and desires. Partners should want to please each other in every respect, if it is possible. This might involve one night doing what the high-libido partner wants, and then the next, what the lower libido partner wants. (Which could be just a good night’s sleep) It could also mean one partner bringing the other to orgasm without any full-blown, let’s-do-it-my-way sex happening. Learning to compromise and seek the other partner’s pleasure will not only improve your sex life and correct the imbalance; it will also drastically improve your relationship. These are the essential lessons that sexual therapy and surrogacy teaches couples with sexual problems. Many sexual problems we encounter in the practice seem to be the result of bad communication and one or both partners putting their interests and desires above that of their partner’s. But no sexual problem is without a workable solution. If you or someone you know is having relationship difficulties why not suggest sexual therapy or surrogacy as a long-term solution? “Sex And Peyronie’s Disease” One of many diseases to discuss is Peyronie’s disease. This is a condition where a man’s penis, though erect, bends at an unnatural angle. Curvatures can be present at the top of the shaft and cause an upward bend, or at the bottom, causing a downward bend. In rare cases a hardening of tissue in the area called the tunica albuinea may cause the penis to shorten in length or diameter. Other problems associated with Peyronie’s disease include impotence or incomplete erections. Not only can this be awkward, it can also be very painful during intercourse. Though not prevalent, (only 1% of the total male population suffer from this disease) it can affect many people of different ages. Though most men diagnosed are between the ages 45-60, it can also affect younger men. While Peyronie’s disease usually doesn’t prevent regular sex from happening, it’s concerning to think that many men would rather suffer through painful intercourse than seek solutions through medical attention or surrogate therapy. What causes Peyronie’s disease? While there is no official cause, certain factors can play a part. For instance, any sort of injury or trauma to the penis can cause the disease to develop. Yes, it’s even possible that vigorous sexual intercourse can cause tissue in the penis to tear or scar. (So while rough sex can be fun, be careful not to be too rough) The disease can develop as a result of a medical procedure. Peyronie’s disease can also be inherited. However, a bent penis does not necessarily mean a person has Peyronie’s disease. Some men are simply born with a penis slant and may not even experience pain. Other causes of the disease include Vitamin E deficiencies, side effects of a drug called Inderal, Diabetes complications and severe vasculitis. The longer a person waits to seek help, the worse the complications will be. The psychological impact of Peyronie’s disease can be devastating—especially if left untreated. If treatment for Peyronie’s disease starts quickly after diagnosis (say six months) then good sexual function can be restored. The question is, should treatment be in the form of medical help or sexual therapy? In general when discussing alternative treatments to surgery, the aim is to reduce pain and restore sexual function. Non-surgical medical treatments could include a complex substance of Vitamins E and B, steroid treatments, chemical agents that block calcium or enzymes that break down connective issue, or radiation treatment to reduce pain. Peyronie’s disease has been known to resolve without surgery. Therefore, surgery is usually only performed after some given time (about two years) and only suggested in severe cases. Of course, surgery is a last resort because it can be complicated and dangerous. Skin grafts may be required, as well as penile implants and special medication that prevents erections from developing until the wound heals. Complications from surgery have happened before and have caused infections, impotence and other serious medical conditions. This is why many choose to seek treatment for Peyronie’s disease without surgery. Sexual therapy can be of tremendous help. Sexual surrogates can offer counseling and treatment to help with sexual dysfunctions and disease. The goal of therapy would be to improve sexual function—something of which a doctor or non-sex trained therapist might have limited knowledge or interest in pursuing. In terms of how a surrogate will treat the disease, each case will be different. Cases of Peyronie’s disease have been known to resolve with time (sometimes within a year) so maybe education about the disease and reassurance is all that will be needed. For the most part, unless the disease is preventing sexual intercourse entirely, or the pain is unbearable, surgery is usually not recommended. Don’t let sexual dysfunction deprive you of the sexuality you need and deserve. Seek professional help. The term venous leakage might even make some men feel queasy. Nobody likes to think of any kind of “leakage” happening when they are getting intimate. But it really is a problem and sexual dysfunction only gets worse the longer you wait to get help. The condition known as venous leakage, also known as cavernosal failure, occurs when penile veins are not able to constrict properly during an erection. The blood escapes to the outside boundary of the penis and into the surrounding veins and causes a weak or “soft” erection. Venous leakage can also cause more noticeable problems like impotence or the rapid loss of an erection depending on how severe the condition is. What causes this dysfunction? It can either be brought on by chemical deposition or the destruction of surrounding penis venous tissue. Ingesting too many unnatural chemicals in your body are sex-busters. That’s why cigarettes, marijuana and street drugs are widely discouraged because these chemicals can harm your body—yes, even your sexual organs. Beyond that, even excessive amounts of otherwise harmless chemicals like prescription medication, alcohol or sugar and cholesterol can be damaging. When your body becomes ill, physical and sexual side effects will show. Venous leakage can also be caused by mechanical destruction of penile tissue. This can be caused by rigorous sexual activity in which the penis is injured (take it down a notch, wildcat) excessive penile exercises, over-masturbation or over ejaculation. All of this rigorous activity can make the penile tissue, blood vessels and surrounding nerves sensitive and more easily prone to breakage. Not only does excess cause this condition, but vascular disease, poor muscle relaxation (which can occur in Diabetes or Pryronie’s disease) and even neurological disorders such as high anxiety can cause symptoms. A man with venous leakage is suffering from a physical condition, although the general term of erectile dysfunction is not always a physical problem. Impotence can be psychological in some cases. Venous leakage, however, results from improper arterial blood flow. What is the best way to treat venous leakage? There are a few ways to go about getting help. One solution is through medication. If the venous leakage is caused by chemical deposition, as in drug abuse, then a doctor might prescribe a total detoxification drug. If the cause of the leakage is physical, such as poor muscle relaxation or over-masturbation, then the general treatment might be to boost the parasympathetic nervous system as relates to erections, so that the penis gets enough androgen hormones, neurochemicals and oxygen for consistent function. Hormone replacements as well as arterial stimulation drugs could be a solution. Other medical options include a penile constriction band, a penile implantation, or arterial reconstruction. These medical procedures are costly and complicated, but might be worth considering if a person suffers from many other sexual problems as well. However, venous leakage is a relatively minor problem to treat and would probably be remedied best by medication. It is a physical condition that needs quick attention. In addition to medication, knowledge of what causes penis venous leakage and the best way to adjust your lifestyle would be very helpful. In this regard sexual surrogates could help. Venous leakage can sometimes be caused by over-masturbation, improper penile exercise, poor muscle relaxation, and even anxiety—all subjects a surrogate could address through therapy. This is assuming that venous leakage is a recurring problem and not the result of a one-time injury in which you overstrained the little guy. The body naturally heals itself if you are careful and maintain a healthy lifestyle. But if you have a major problem with venous leakage then it is a physical dysfunction in need of medication or even surgery when particularly severe. The more people seek help for their sexual problems, rather than hiding in shame or embarrassment, the happier and healthier they will be.
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